I can’t stress enough how important non-verbal communication is when it comes to making a positive connection with somebody.
The tricky part is keeping the ball rolling; it’s easy to trail off – or worse, make someone feel uncomfortable about dominating the entire conversation.
You have to be an active listener, taking what they say and bouncing it back by asking the questions.
for this beyond everyone being profoundly self-involved: as it turns out, talking about ourselves literally makes us feel good.
Scientists have found that talking about ourselves activates the same pleasure centers of the brain that are associated with food and money.
It’s called “the reward theory of attraction”; simply put, we like people who make us feel gratified and rewarded when we’re around them.
If a relationship brings more pleasure than discomfort, then we find ourselves drawn to them and want that relationship to continue.
Consider practicing these in the mirror; notice how different an innocuous phrase can seem when you’ve tilted your chin up vs. Keep in mind: this is a too quickly under normal circumstances – myself included.
It may be regional – people from Manhattan, the outer boroughs and New Jersey, for example – it may be an extroverted trait, or it may simply be that your brain runs faster than your mouth and you’re forever playing catch-up as your thoughts rocket along.
Facing a stranger square on can feel intimidating; it can come across as though you’re trying to box them in.