Since Craig and I lived somewhat of a distance away (maybe about 40 minutes) I went out of my way to see him when it was convenient for him.
There were forces working against us and I didn’t want to make things worse by being unaccommodating.
My schedule was more flexible than his so it made sense that I should work around his schedule, right?
At this point, you may notice that he starts pulling away until he eventually pulls a swift Houdini on you, vanishing into the abyss without even uttering “abracadabra” to give you some warning!
While guys enjoy the pursuit, they hate it when you act in a way that is deliberately trying to get them to chase you. And to be clear, that is not what I’m talking about here.
guys after Craig and let me tell you, whenever I’ve been overly available I went through that same cycle.
They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Intentionally manipulating a guy or playing games will always backfire because no guy wants to feel like he’s being yanked along on a destination-less journey.
Plus, he’ll be able to see right through what you’re doing and it will come across as desperate, which is the ultimate turnoff.
When you are this person, you won’t have to “play games” and will naturally activate a man’s natural desire to pursue.
Since you are living your life and aren’t relying on his approval to make you happy, he automatically steps up and tries to carve space for himself in your life.
If this is true, those men in the white coats should have been on me like white on rice. I had a very needy mindset and I derived way too much of my self-worth from how men responded to be. (To know what it does look like, check out this article: 10 Things Confident People Do Differently in Dating and Relationships.) It took a long time to realize I needed to stop prioritizing guys above myself, at least until he started treating like a priority.