When you subsequently find yourself attracted to someone or you make a decision to resume dating, you may feel guilty, as if you are "cheating" on your ex or late spouse.While feelings of guilt are perfectly normal, that same guilt can unnecessarily hold you back.
Should you learn from your past experiences in order to avoid repeating history? Should you automatically suspect everyone you meet in the future based upon what has happened in the past? To make the unilateral decision that, unfairly condemns an entire species because of the actions of a few losers.
Do you believe that most people are inherently decent, loyal, loving and are looking for you just as ardently as you are looking for them?
That's fine of course -- but don't use the previous person as a "yardstick" against which you are measuring prospective dates.
For example, it is unfair to start sentences with, because absolutely nobody "always" did something right or "never" did anything wrong.
This means a life that is yours alone; a life that is individually gratifying in its own right.
Do you have your own career, your own hobbies, your own pursuits, your own set of friends with whom you play sports, lunch, drink or dine?
For example, you are likely to be angry with an ex-spouse who was abusive or unfaithful.
You may likely be angry at the circumstances surrounding your spouse's death.
The companion element to being happy on your own is the ability to go out alone and enjoy yourself. Your emotional availability will have everything to do with two things; the amount of time that you have spent recovering from your divorce or the death of your spouse and your willingness to make yourself emotionally available.