When you’re asking the question of “When do you kiss her”, you’re asking the wrong question. And critically, I’ve learned the most important part about the first kiss.
You’re leaning in, pulling back afraid that it’s the wrong moment, trying moment, and the more you dick around trying to figure out when and where, the more time you’re wasting that could be better spent on sloppy make-outs. It’s a fun quirk of the human brain: we’re really good at retconning events to fit how we want them to be.
I realize that pop culture has drilled into our collective heads that the first kiss has to be “perfect” and at “the perfect moment”. We will quite cheerfully round up a moment as “the perfect moment” because we the first kiss with our girlfriend or boyfriends to be a magcial moment.
First, there are few things sexier than anticipation and the build-up to a first kiss is positively delicious.
Secondly, it gives her plenty of time to respond; if she doesn’t want you to kiss her she’s got ample time to give you the cheek or to wave you off.
So maybe you’re on your second or third date and you’re busy scanning for signals that maybe she’s expecting you to kiss her.
You’re parsing her every word and body movement like it’s the Zapruder film and you’re trying to figure out where Waldo is in it and whether he was the shooter on the grassy knoll.
Now let’s be clear: this is obviously not representative of all women. Is she staying close to you, even hugging your arm and snuggled up to you as you’re walking together?
But it tie into a topic that I’ve mentioned before: some people actively dislike verbal sexual (or relationship, for that matter) communication. Is she making a point to close the gap between “personal space” (approximately 2 to 4 feet) to “intimate space” (around 18 inches or so)? It’s one thing if it’s an occasional touch on the arm.
Some people think the moment comes at the end of the date and trying for a kiss earlier is a mistake. Sometimes it’s not a case of waiting for the good-night kiss; some girls don’t kiss on the first date, some do, good for them either way.