Yale and Harvard [or Harvard and Yale, depending on the magazine], former Washington journalist, lawyer, Carter Administration appointee, mediator. Values honesty, kindness, joie de vivre, sensuality.
So I thought I’d home in on women of at least some education — if not relative honesty and kindness.
I placed this personal ad in Harvard’s alumni magazine, later in Yale’s: “San Francisco Gentleman, 68, widowed, looking to settle down again, or just have a remarkable time with someone special.
And I did lecture at the United Nations’ International Labor Organization in Turin, Italy. Eventually, however, I learned what most younger daters already knew: that, in our unromantic age, men and women have become as disposable as Kleenex.
If you don’t like this nose, that ear, this accent, that twitch, this reference, that sneeze — hey, there are thousands more online, so why not end the conversation and prance onward?
— comment: “You look very nice — warm eyes, great teeth, comfortable double chin.” Comfortable?
Getting a photo, location or age was sometimes daunting. The subject of age could raise hackles, as in: “I’m 98. ” As for my request for a photo: “I’m not sending a photo because I am not interested in entering a beauty contest with women half my age.” (The other “contestants” were not half her age.) Or: Being asked for a photo “reminded me of my experience freshman year.There were many, many responses, but they were from bright, literate ladies in Cambridge, Boston, New Haven, New York and Washington. But I want to settle down, and I don’t want a long-distance romance, with relentless cross-country travel, long phone calls and cheerless abstinence. I would typically write: “Isn’t the distance a bit long?” They wrote: “I travel back and forth a bit”; “By foot, absolutely”; “Perhaps you pass through Seattle?I did find this fact beguiling: “When I was a little girl, I was always in the highest reading group.” And though it is true that I’ve been widowed twice, I confess to not being powerfully drawn to those women who wondered aloud if I had murdered my wives.As the replies came in, I felt more and more kinship with the woman who wrote, “This is the craziest thing I have ever done [She] is somewhat bashful.” And some folks were not.C., who — like me — is a former New York Times reporter.