In the same regard, when a relationship ends, it is much much harder for a guy to go back and discuss and revisit and talk through and explain, etc. In fact, guys like to keep their emotional spectrum focused on a tight range of emotions – somewhere between amusement and contentedness.
So any interaction that a guy knows will bring him out of that sweet range of emotions is an interaction he’s going to do everything he can to avoid.
Personally, I have had breakups where I pretty much went cold. I wanted her to be OK, I wanted good things for her in life, but I knew that nothing was going to make the situation better.
No discussion was going to fix things, no clarity was to be had – it would have just been an emotional toilet for both of us.
When a person (male or female) realizes that only they themselves can be responsible for their emotions, actions, and reactions…
they break the chain of seeking a sense of OK-ness externally.
I’ve heard things like “When a guy’s relationship ends, he replaces her.
When a woman’s relationship ends, she mourns,” or “He’s just hooking up with such-and-such to spite the ex-girlfriend,” or “Guys just don’t care” and other nonsense.
I realize it probably came off jerky, but when I cut off communication, my heart is in the right place.
(Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster, I won’t completely cut a girl off, but I definitely won’t discuss anything along a relationship conversational thread.) This could be for a few reasons.
I don’t think it’s that guys don’t want to deal with the breakup…