A virgin, therefore, is the ultimate expression of virtue and goodness (and thus priceless) and any woman who has an excessive number of sex partners (for a suitably subjective value of “excessive”) is degraded.
For some, it’s a quest to lose our virginity the night of The Big School Event (Homecoming, Prom, Spring Formal, what-have-you) because it’s part of the modern high-school mythology that we’ve made up.
For others it’s trying to beat a particular date – our 18th or 21st birthdays, high-school or college graduation, before summer’s over, before getting married.
but because he’s never managed to actually penetrate a woman, he’s still obsessed with “childish” things.
Meanwhile, we live in a culture that glorifies male sexual conquests even as it pathologizes male sexuality.
I can’t count the number of letters I’ve gotten from virgin readers, men and women of just about every age who have not had sex yet and are desperately afraid that they’re “too late”.
Some may have had physical intercourse with another person – oral sex, mutual masturbation, possibly even anal sex – but consider themselves virgins because they’ve never had penile/vaginal sex.
It won’t magically give you confidence that you didn’t have before, it won’t change how you think or make you empirically more or less attractive.
Anything you gain from sex was, ultimately, within you from the start.
Here’s the hard and fast truth about virgins and virginity: it’s a completely cultural construct.