We’re not saying to go ahead and cancel your gym membership, lose your sense of humor, or stop striving for that sought-after promotion.
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Loving-Kindness Meditation practice associated with longer telomeres in women. Brain, Behavior, and Immunity, 2013, Apr.;32():1090-2139. Giving to Others and the Association Between Stress and Mortality. It’s not always a function of what we do for others; it’s equally about how we think and what we say.
Have empathy and compassion for where someone else might be coming from, instead of reacting to what they’re saying or doing solely based on how it affects us, Cole suggests.
(Though it never hurts to ask someone what’s going on in that moment—or, if they’re too emotional, once they’ve cooled down.)Expressing gratitude (“I’m really thankful we met,” “I so appreciate you meeting me for dinner tonight”), verbalizing what you admire and respect about a date or S. (“I love the way your mind works,” “You have a wonderful sense of style,” “You give incredible hugs”) or offering a mate encouragement (“You’re getting so good at learning how to make me feel amazing in bed”) are spoken versions of kindness, Cole points out.
Find something you truly consider positive about another person—without, of course, falsely praising their every characteristic.
Kindness most comes through in what we do and how we treat people. I'll write you back once I’m off work.")If a date ends with a sleepover, consider having a clean toothbrush ready for them at your place. Offer to pay for a date’s cab ride home, or walk them to whatever mode of transportation they’re taking.
Putting it into action ranges from asking if your date needs to borrow your jacket or umbrella in bad weather to being responsive when you’re together, Cole says. As your relationship evolves, it’s also important to demonstrate to your partner you’ll be there for them when they need it, adds Cole.
Based on a quick glance at magazine covers, it seems like there are certain qualities everyone's looking for in a mate.
Nail the perfect combo of good looks, quick wit, and career success, and you've got the perfect formula for attracting a partner, right?
And while you may typically think of kindness as making an extra effort, Cole reminds us that the art of being nice can also mean doing less.