Presumably autocorrect is to blame for the “spirituality” thing. But I’m not going to show you her blurry nipples, because right at that moment, Bravo put up a graphic at the bottom of the screen to promote a show called , knowing that people like me all over the country, people who hope one day to have writing jobs, would pause the show and take a picture of topless Cary and inadvertently promote some other dumb show. Instead I’m going to show you this picture of Cary at the photo shoot: Cut to Brandi’s house, where she talks about raising Brooklyn and Brinkley without Bryan’s help. Cary and Mark review the photos he took of his wife. Like, sometimes I just want it to be more together. ” I believe Brandi was 36 when this scene was taped. All the martinis and carved meat in the world couldn’t keep me seated at, like, a table with her.
Lee Anne in a confessional: “My reputation in the Charityworld is too important for me not to know what’s going on.” Cut to Marie’s circular drive. I was about to fucking lose it.” Now the dramatic strings music builds. “I am so tired of her being so mean and so evil to me for no reason. As she calls Bryan to set up date night, she lets Brinkley squat barefooted on the countertop where she’s making dinner, which is gross. Something happens with the samurai statues in front of Stephanie’s house. She says in a confessional, “I’m really not looking forward to seeing my 40-year-old ass.” (Yes, she is.) Staring at a computer monitor, she complains about looking “freckle-y” and “not tan.” She says in a confessional: “Mark doesn’t photoshop any of the pictures of me.
Cary says in a confessional: “The image of our practice is definitely tied to the potential of getting clients.” ! She riffs on aging and balls turning gray and gray pubes, the fear of which keeps her dedicated to waxing. Stephanie laughs the laugh that launched a thousand ships. Such is the degree to which these two women over-laugh in response to material that is not in the least bit funny. You know how there are times when you have sex and everything gets all crazy for a few minutes, and maybe you even use foul language? Bryan and Brandi leave Brooklyn and Brinkley with their babysitter, Bristol. ” in such a dismissive fashion that even the Texas de Brazil staff, as they prepare for the dinner service that won’t begin for another three hours, is shocked. When we return, Bryan says, “I feel like I give you all the attention, and you always say I don’t give you any attention.” Please read her following response carefully.
Now the captains of those ships scuttle their vessels and drown their crews, because that’s the only fail-safe way to escape Stephanie’s laugh. In a confessional, she says, “There are two amazing things about Bryan that every woman wants in a man. Then it gets real serious, and Stephanie suggests that Brandi go on date night with Bryan so that they can heal their marriage on TV. She and Tiffany are headed to Marie’s house to clear the air. And then it’s over, and you go get a glass of water or whatever, and you pretend that nothing just happened and you’re not really a filthy, rutting animal? Marie says, “I appreciate you being open.” Tiffany and Lee Anne leave. ” She answers, “I don’t love me as much as you love me,” and laughs and slaps his leg. Over to Stephanie’s house, where the room redecoration is revealed to Travis. Featured prominently is a locker from Hollman, the world’s largest manufacturer of wood and laminate lockers. He puts one of his sons in the locker’s drawer and shuts it. I had to rewind probably 10 times to transcribe this accurately.
In her confessional, she talks about how she’s still pissed about her husband Bryan’s showing up late to the reunion with her long-lost grandfather.
“I’ve honestly never felt more alone in my marriage,” she says.
Only this time she does it on a marble floor, in a hallway. Somewhere in the house, Marie’s daughter is cutting herself. We have a moment to consider that last joke and whether it was appropriate. Now we see Cary and Mark shopping at Stanley Korshak. She and Brandi sit on the floor in little Chance’s redecorated room. Brandi says, “I’m loving these blue balls.” Which produces lots of laughter, even though, again, there is but one blue ball. The couple goes to Texas de Brazil, which is empty save for their table because date night has to happen at about 3 o’clock to accommodate the Bravo cameras. Brandi proceeds to tell Bryan how distant she feels and how he’s not reciprocating and how she’s not getting enough attention and so on and so forth. Bryan looks aggressively disinterested, rolling his eyes, not even bothering to sit facing her. Finally, after Brandi says something about having an issue, Bryan stabs himself in the thigh with an Epi Pen, wakes up, and says, “An issue that I don’t give you enough attention? She wrinkles up her face and whispers with subtitles, “I don’t understand you.” She starts to cry.
Cary needs some new clothes because Mark is going to photograph her and use the images to update the website that promotes their plastic surgery business. Meditate on that phrase long enough, and it will bring you enlightenment. Brandi is undeterred and continues with her standup routine while sitting on the floor. That’s like the man of your dreams.” If you were feeling more alone than ever in your marriage, would you put on that much makeup and go on TV and tell people that your husband chews his toenails and picks his nose? Speaking of initialisms, Brandi continues to riff on her husband, telling Stephanie about the toenail thing, hypothesizing that that’s why Bryan was late to the reunion with her grandfather. Imagine if Carrot Top came out on stage and, before he even produced the first prop from his trunk, you laughed so hard that you lost control of your bowels. ” Brandi says, “Yeah.” And then Bryan says, “Seriously? Marie answers the door wearing the sartorial antithesis of Brandi’s outfit. Rich tells her: “You let stuff bother you too much. Brandi has finished shaking her ass all over Marie’s marble hallway with Marie’s 10-year-old daughter, and now she wants to talk. It’s a flouncy yellow skirt paired with a fuchsia blouse and pair of 6-inch heels. A lot of stuff can get taken out of context.” If they had let Rich run this show, it would have been over before it started, and I would have kissed him. Brandi says, “I know Lee Anne could benefit from therapy.” In a confessional, Marie says, “I love Lee Anne. I didn’t see that coming.” Then he says, “Dude,” drops his napkin, and leaves the table. Lee Anne and Tiffany pull up in Lee Anne’s aging Mercedes. “Do you, do you know why I walked out, in the poor manner that I did? By the time I got in the cab, do you know that the cabbie” — now trying really hard to cry — “didn’t even charge me for my cab ride because I couldn’t catch my breath? They get out, stand in front of the car, hold hands, and pray. Amen.” Lee Anne tells the confessional camera: “If God is showing us these text messages because He’s trying to alert us that someone is trying to damage our relationship, then we need to pray that we are able to see what He wants us to see.” I’ve taken the liberty of capitalizing all the pronouns for God, because I know the girls would want it that way. It’s not like Marie texted Brandi and those texts miraculously showed up on a piece of Lee Anne’s toast, like an image of the Virgin Mary. Marie texted Tiffany, and then Tiffany — not God — showed those texts to Lee Anne. She starts off in a fake calm voice, like a truly crazy person, as she tells Marie about the cocktail party she stormed out of. ” She’s calm but her word choice belies the fact that the gears are starting to slip. ” Marie says it was because Lee Anne felt threatened. ” But she can’t cry so instead she gets really angry and starts yelling. On Thursday, he wants to be back in the same arena to see the woman he has called his “crush.”The two met in 2013, he told Yahoo Sports after his finish on Wednesday. Mariano – who goes by Arthur Nory on social media – wants to see “one of my idols” in judo and then see Biles compete. Some of the loudest cheers of the week have been for him and his Brazilian teammates.“I’m so grateful for an experience like this,” he said.